Triggers (a peace that never last) by Life Empowerment Coach Ireenii Irvin

When we discover that we have triggers, it is no one else's job to heal or fix them. They belong Soley to us and only us! When we respond negatively to our triggers, we involuntarily cause others to live in our prison of triggers with us.

Say this in the mirror to yourself - "No one should have to walk around on eggshells because of me"!

People should not have to watch their every move because they don't know what will set you off. It's like walking into a mind- field of emotions. You're a live wire waiting to explode... when you live, reside, and make your bed daily in your triggers.

We make more active commitments to our triggers then we do active commitments to making peace with our past. you ever heard the phrase "Hurt people, Hurt People"? Well darling.... triggered people trigger people. Mine used to be slammed doors, when anyone would close the door remotely too hard (or too loud for me) it would set me off. I called them rude and every name under the sun. I could not take it! it unnerved me in every single way. It took me until i was well into my mid 30's to realize that this (the heavily closed doors) was a trigger. And not only was it a trigger, but it was a trigger that "I" needed to get help for. The unsettling truth was that it was no one else's trigger to fix and address but my own. I had to take full responsibility for how i let it affect me. How was anyone supposed to know this bothered me. What if they were just heavy handed, what if they were just trying to make sure the door was fully closed and pushed it closed with a little extra umph!

the underlying issue to my trigger was that I grew up in a very abusive home, where slammed doors and loud noises (like furniture and bodies (my mother's body) being tossed around almost nightly) was a part of the norm! A norm I never really quite got used to. I remember hiding under the kitchen table or my bed, or the closet on many occasions. We (I and my siblings) never really knew what to expect in that home! What days my mother would wear makeup to cover black eyes. which days we would go to sleep with the sounds of yelling, screaming and crying only to walk up with her coming back with a cast on her foot, or face or arm. We just never knew, and at that age (adolescence) you just never could trust the peace. It never lasted!

I was in grief therapy when my light bulb came on, and once I recognized why slammed doors or closing doors loudly triggered an emotional response in me! I literally got instant healing. It was the awareness of my own trauma that bought me out of that valley. for years I struggled with it, but not anymore.

What are your triggers? Write them down!

Vow to begin making peace with each one & write how you will do it! What steps will you take!

If you need help identifying your triggers book a 1 on 1 with me - discovery session @ LifeLoveAndRelationshipLLC.Com

Love,

Life Empowerment Coach

Ireenii Irvin

June 11th 2025